I haven't ranted in a long time

That's probably why I'm full of anger. What do I say first?

Firstly, I've lost friends. I have no one else to turn to. Lately, Ezekiel the bear is the only one I can talk to without someone saying something I've done wrong. He's like the only thing that understands.

Other than losing friends, I've first experienced what I'd like to call 'epic failure'. Maybe whoever is reading this may have 'epic failure' as the thought of something that's freakin' disastrous. Or maybe even funny.

In my case, I failed 3 papers in one exam period. It's like 3 out of 5. Although I think I should go study now, my mind is full of anger, indignity. I've *hopefully* cleared the first supp paper, Math, but it's very risky. I hope I won't fail.

Oh. Nobody in my course did thaaaaat badly. Like 3 papers out of 5. And I've never failed so many papers at one go. It's killing me.

Then the person who I expected to maybe fail didn't. She had so much help. Like when the math lecturer told us we could go for this extra remedial session by another lecturer, I missed the first cos I had something else on, then when I wanted to go for the second session, I was told that it was exclusively for weaker students. Am I not a weak student? If you pledged that you were my friend and would do whatever to help, why didn't you ask the lecturer if I could get in? After all, I was pulled in by the math lecturer to go for this session.

I feel effing betrayed. Now that you failed nothing and I failed 3, I feel worse. You know what? GO. AWAY.

Then there's the family problems.

I've had a pretty loud voice since young. So when I talk louder it sounds like I'm screaming. Not that I wanted to anyway.

My mum wrote letters to me. Telling me where I've gone wrong. But it seems like she only acknowledges everything as my mistakes. It seems like she doesn't understand the concept that it takes two to clap. So in my reply I wrote that if she wants to blame everything on me, whatever.

Nobody cares anyway. I wanna say that I feel suicidal. She doesn't know. Not many knows.

And come to think of it, wherever I go, happiness is sucked away.

Honestly, I don't even want to live anymore. How many even care about my mere existence?